367. The amazing gift of nine days smoke-free for my dad, congratulations!!! And I loved hearing on the phone today that he's bucking the system and opting to improve his health naturally through his diet instead of with prescriptions. Takes a lot of courage and patience - so proud of you Dad!
368. An evening out at the McCormick Ranch Railroad Park, I love that place! We saw hundreds, maybe even a thousand families out enjoying the tail end of the holiday with ice cream, hot chocolate, lights and decorations, the carousel, and the train ride. Cheap entertainment and we all had so much fun! It's so rare to see that many people in Phoenix out enjoying the same thing - infants in baby carriers, toddlers running free, older kids giggling and snickering, grandkids, parents, grandparents, couples out on dates - so fulfilling to see the smiles of so many generations sharing time together.
369. A sweet friend of Lily's from school knocking at the front door to see if she can play, and Lily riding her scooter down the street with her friend back to her house. It's so intriguing to watch what happens as kids grow up and into themselves, yet it's still so hard to let it happen. I think with still having a younger sibling around I'm in such the habit of asking and telling both Emmy and Lily, "Do you need help with that? Are you okay? Watch out for that step!" But when I can bring myself to hold my tongue and take a step back (and recognize that although there are only four years between Lily and Emmy, there are miles between almost three years old and almost seven) I see such beauty, independence, and individuality.
370. A day without fits! Yahoo! Have to celebrate these moments when they happen:)
Friday, December 30, 2011
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Start #1: Gifts 359...
359. Sleeping in every day this week and waking up to all four of us snuggled in next to each other like sardines in our queen size bed.
360. Thankful that Andy finally got his wrist worked on today by our chiropractor, Dr. Dave Johnson. Thank you Dr. Dave for putting Andy back in place as everything on his right side was out, including his wrist. Hopefully the inflammation will go down and that will take care of his pain, but better today already!
361. Emmy and I dancing in the kitchen in our pajamas to Otis Redding's Send Me Some Lovin' while we made and devoured chocolate chip banana pancakes.
362. A trip to Bookman's - a treat in itself - where the girls got to spend some Christmas cash on some amazing used kids books. We picked up the gorgeous hardcover book The Three Questions that is great for adults and kids alike, Shel Silverstein's book of poems Falling Up (the one I almost paid full price for as a Christmas gift), one of Emmy's favorite books Going on a Bear Hunt, and several more for $22!
363. Watching Lily laugh as we played badminton in the backyard at sunset today.
364. Seeing the craters of the moon in shadows through the telescope thanks to Andy fixing it today, yay Andy!
365. Surviving three of Emmy's screaming, raging fits today (the really difficult ones that I am embarrassed to say made me scream too) and still ending the day holding her as I sang songs to tuck her in for the night. Whew. Tomorrow will be a better day. Positive thinking:)
366. Just completing our workplace wellness essay and entry online for the healthiest employer contest/survey - the only bit of work I needed to do for the full week off! I feel good on both counts!
360. Thankful that Andy finally got his wrist worked on today by our chiropractor, Dr. Dave Johnson. Thank you Dr. Dave for putting Andy back in place as everything on his right side was out, including his wrist. Hopefully the inflammation will go down and that will take care of his pain, but better today already!
361. Emmy and I dancing in the kitchen in our pajamas to Otis Redding's Send Me Some Lovin' while we made and devoured chocolate chip banana pancakes.
362. A trip to Bookman's - a treat in itself - where the girls got to spend some Christmas cash on some amazing used kids books. We picked up the gorgeous hardcover book The Three Questions that is great for adults and kids alike, Shel Silverstein's book of poems Falling Up (the one I almost paid full price for as a Christmas gift), one of Emmy's favorite books Going on a Bear Hunt, and several more for $22!
363. Watching Lily laugh as we played badminton in the backyard at sunset today.
364. Seeing the craters of the moon in shadows through the telescope thanks to Andy fixing it today, yay Andy!
365. Surviving three of Emmy's screaming, raging fits today (the really difficult ones that I am embarrassed to say made me scream too) and still ending the day holding her as I sang songs to tuck her in for the night. Whew. Tomorrow will be a better day. Positive thinking:)
366. Just completing our workplace wellness essay and entry online for the healthiest employer contest/survey - the only bit of work I needed to do for the full week off! I feel good on both counts!
Start #2: Total Money Makeover
My lack of posting for the Total Money Makeover is very indicative of our habits with money - difficult to face. Our modus operandi is to buy the things we need come pay day, our eyes closed to any kind of running balance, then hold our breath, open our eyes, and pay what we can that needs to be paid before there's nothing left until the next pay day.
If your heart is racing at this technique, imagine ours. This left us feeling frustrated that the only thing predictable was that we knew we worked very hard for our paychecks, that there was never enough paycheck to last, and that we felt deprived as we tried to make each penny last knowing full well that it wouldn't. Awful to admit, and I can't believe that I just did, but I believe that this is part of our Total Money Makeover. Admitting is the first step to recovery, right? Also essential to recovery are support, discipline, knowledge, and determination, to name a few.
We have for certain found support in Victor Encinas, our financial counselor who supports the Dave Ramsey plan. Our first appointment with Victor was a painful two and a half hours, at best. Meeting with him forced us to look at our debt under a bare light bulb that left nowhere for anything to hide. But what it also did was focus our attention on our financial predicament and future together; for the first time in our married lives, putting Mr. and Mrs. Andrew Kuntz together in the same room with money, debt, creditors, allocated spending plans, savings, equity, retirement, college education funds, insurance options, and as a result, behavior modification, confidence, and hope.
Now we have a PLAN. We are deprived (and will be for awhile), but with PURPOSE. We left Victor's office (with a headache) to spend hours creating an allocated budget for December and communicating with all of our creditors to let them know that things aren't going to go as planned for awhile as we work to get back on our feet. We learned about using cash only for groceries, personal and household expenditures, and to spend within our means - when the cash is gone, the spending needs to be done. We saved every receipt and knew where every penny went - until the week before Christmas. And before we could go from Merry Christmas to Happy New Year, we were right back to our old habits of avoidance. True, the month of December was probably the worst (or maybe it was the best?) month to start - holiday gatherings, extra food costs, gifts, and an unexpected vehicle repair don't make for the most desirable of spending forecasts.
The night before our next meeting with Victor, which happened yesterday, we again spent hours together (key word "together"), reviewing our budget and receipts to see how our actual spending compared. We were happy so happy to see that we were under budget for gas and groceries - even given the extra holiday spending. However, we were way over budget for gifts, which we expected, but we did do things different to accommodate as best we could: lots of homemade gifts, much less stuff for the girls, and nothing but love exchanged between Andy and I. We now know that there is a distinct difference between the things we "need" versus the things we "want" when working on a Total Money Makeover.
We are reinforcing in our vocabulary that, due to having a plan and working hard to stick to it, that the sacrifices we are making now are temporary. As will be the sacrifice that we will make by selling Andy's car - anyone want to buy a 2007 Hyundai Santa Fe? Yes, a little extreme, but this will be a quantum leap in our plan, enabling us to pay off debt even quicker.
We left Victor's office yesterday with awareness from our discovery month and a conviction that we can do this, our Total Money Makeover. Knowledge is power, and tools (with aforementioned discipline and determination) make the power work. We are grateful to Victor for showing us tools that we can use tell our money what to do instead of having things work the other way around. In the last few days of this month, we will again set our allocated spending for January, and actually withdraw the cash from our account for our categories of flexible spending. We will continue to find ways to cut where we can, to be creative with spending and earning. And after suffering late into the night before our last appointment, we now know that we will spend more time on this more frequently to make it all happen, and hopefully (with less of a headache) enable it to all become second nature.
We can celebrate that we now have our emergency fund established, thanks to the generosity of family, and can work towards tackling our debt, starting with the smallest to gain momentum to get us through the largest.
And, something very peculiar has happened. We are all spending more time together. What used to happen before is that I would go to bed while Andy would watch his shows on cable in the living room. Since we cancelled cable as part of our plan, Andy has been streaming shows on his iPad in bed. I got out of the shower the other night and crawled into bed next to Andy who was watching Top Chef. We snuggled up, held hands, and watched something together that means a lot to Andy, both of us captivated by the creations of the top chefs of the season. Cutting back has produced some unexpected gains:) Here's to many more.
If your heart is racing at this technique, imagine ours. This left us feeling frustrated that the only thing predictable was that we knew we worked very hard for our paychecks, that there was never enough paycheck to last, and that we felt deprived as we tried to make each penny last knowing full well that it wouldn't. Awful to admit, and I can't believe that I just did, but I believe that this is part of our Total Money Makeover. Admitting is the first step to recovery, right? Also essential to recovery are support, discipline, knowledge, and determination, to name a few.
We have for certain found support in Victor Encinas, our financial counselor who supports the Dave Ramsey plan. Our first appointment with Victor was a painful two and a half hours, at best. Meeting with him forced us to look at our debt under a bare light bulb that left nowhere for anything to hide. But what it also did was focus our attention on our financial predicament and future together; for the first time in our married lives, putting Mr. and Mrs. Andrew Kuntz together in the same room with money, debt, creditors, allocated spending plans, savings, equity, retirement, college education funds, insurance options, and as a result, behavior modification, confidence, and hope.
Now we have a PLAN. We are deprived (and will be for awhile), but with PURPOSE. We left Victor's office (with a headache) to spend hours creating an allocated budget for December and communicating with all of our creditors to let them know that things aren't going to go as planned for awhile as we work to get back on our feet. We learned about using cash only for groceries, personal and household expenditures, and to spend within our means - when the cash is gone, the spending needs to be done. We saved every receipt and knew where every penny went - until the week before Christmas. And before we could go from Merry Christmas to Happy New Year, we were right back to our old habits of avoidance. True, the month of December was probably the worst (or maybe it was the best?) month to start - holiday gatherings, extra food costs, gifts, and an unexpected vehicle repair don't make for the most desirable of spending forecasts.
The night before our next meeting with Victor, which happened yesterday, we again spent hours together (key word "together"), reviewing our budget and receipts to see how our actual spending compared. We were happy so happy to see that we were under budget for gas and groceries - even given the extra holiday spending. However, we were way over budget for gifts, which we expected, but we did do things different to accommodate as best we could: lots of homemade gifts, much less stuff for the girls, and nothing but love exchanged between Andy and I. We now know that there is a distinct difference between the things we "need" versus the things we "want" when working on a Total Money Makeover.
We are reinforcing in our vocabulary that, due to having a plan and working hard to stick to it, that the sacrifices we are making now are temporary. As will be the sacrifice that we will make by selling Andy's car - anyone want to buy a 2007 Hyundai Santa Fe? Yes, a little extreme, but this will be a quantum leap in our plan, enabling us to pay off debt even quicker.
We left Victor's office yesterday with awareness from our discovery month and a conviction that we can do this, our Total Money Makeover. Knowledge is power, and tools (with aforementioned discipline and determination) make the power work. We are grateful to Victor for showing us tools that we can use tell our money what to do instead of having things work the other way around. In the last few days of this month, we will again set our allocated spending for January, and actually withdraw the cash from our account for our categories of flexible spending. We will continue to find ways to cut where we can, to be creative with spending and earning. And after suffering late into the night before our last appointment, we now know that we will spend more time on this more frequently to make it all happen, and hopefully (with less of a headache) enable it to all become second nature.
We can celebrate that we now have our emergency fund established, thanks to the generosity of family, and can work towards tackling our debt, starting with the smallest to gain momentum to get us through the largest.
And, something very peculiar has happened. We are all spending more time together. What used to happen before is that I would go to bed while Andy would watch his shows on cable in the living room. Since we cancelled cable as part of our plan, Andy has been streaming shows on his iPad in bed. I got out of the shower the other night and crawled into bed next to Andy who was watching Top Chef. We snuggled up, held hands, and watched something together that means a lot to Andy, both of us captivated by the creations of the top chefs of the season. Cutting back has produced some unexpected gains:) Here's to many more.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Start #1: Gifts:356...
356. Listening to the online audio meditation in December's issue of Yoga Journal tonight: See the Light (Within)
357. The time to read my December issue of Yoga Jourlnal to discover the online meditation, and so much more.
358. How relaxed I am after the meditation (have tried at least six times over to compose this one sentence. Now off to bed. Oh, wait, I am in bed:) Lights out!
357. The time to read my December issue of Yoga Jourlnal to discover the online meditation, and so much more.
358. How relaxed I am after the meditation (have tried at least six times over to compose this one sentence. Now off to bed. Oh, wait, I am in bed:) Lights out!
Friday, December 23, 2011
Start #1: Gifts 339...
350. Lily jumping up and down at 6:30 this morning just before leaving for school shouting, "Mom! It's Christmas Eve tomorrow! Christmas Eve is tomorrow!"
351. Everyone in the holiday spirit at work and all very excited about shutting down early at 2pm. Yay!
352. Tear-filled goodbyes at Emmy's school; I am grateful for this because it means that deep bonds were formed and love filled all of our hearts. We are sad to have to make the change, but thankful for the opportunity to have Emmy right across the hall from Andy at his school in the same place that Lily went, and to save $200 a month. We have to at least try it out as part of our Total Money Makeover.
353. The upcoming week off to focus on our kids and being together.
354. An off-road adventure into the desert wash at the end of the park following animal tracks and burrows with Lily, Emmy, and Molly. Ever so grateful that I was in this place, so peaceful in nature, while Andy battled the crowds at the grocery store. Thank you for tackling that task Andy!
355. One piece at a time, actually finishing the handmade projects we set out to do as gifts for the holiday this year. Starting now to finish...feels so good.
351. Everyone in the holiday spirit at work and all very excited about shutting down early at 2pm. Yay!
352. Tear-filled goodbyes at Emmy's school; I am grateful for this because it means that deep bonds were formed and love filled all of our hearts. We are sad to have to make the change, but thankful for the opportunity to have Emmy right across the hall from Andy at his school in the same place that Lily went, and to save $200 a month. We have to at least try it out as part of our Total Money Makeover.
353. The upcoming week off to focus on our kids and being together.
354. An off-road adventure into the desert wash at the end of the park following animal tracks and burrows with Lily, Emmy, and Molly. Ever so grateful that I was in this place, so peaceful in nature, while Andy battled the crowds at the grocery store. Thank you for tackling that task Andy!
355. One piece at a time, actually finishing the handmade projects we set out to do as gifts for the holiday this year. Starting now to finish...feels so good.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Start #1: Gifts 339...
339. A crescent moon smiling down upon us as we left the house this morning.
340. Starting my day with Doe, Ray, Me! Emmy and I sang along with Julie Andrews the whole way to school this morning!
341. Seeing the layers of the sunrise on my way to work.
342. Receiving a compliment first thing this morning at work from several who attended our pot luck yesterday said they felt our team bond just by sharing in our celebration. "You know how every so often, you get a group of people that just works, like a dream team? Well, that's what you all have, and you should cherish that." Cherish that we do, each and every one of us.
343. Leftover vegetable tamales and homemade salsa for a mid-morning snack - my new comfort food! So fulfilling and warming.
343. The aroma of the most fragrant melon and peach white tea that drifted out of my hot mug into my nose and throughout my office. Thank you Dina for the gift of a new box of tea!
344. Living vicariously those first exhilarating moments of new love, and deep happiness for the friend who is experiencing it first hand.
345. Groovin' bass lines and guitar that get me movin' in the car while listening to John Mayer's Battle Studies: Perfectly Lonely
346. Forgiving and letting go - release.
347. The unconditional love and support of my husband.
348. Getting to escape work to share Lily's 1st grade holiday celebration with her - one of my most favorite quiet moments of the season so far, just hugging her in my lap on the floor as her teacher read the traditional story of Rudolph.
349. Both Emmy and Lily having a peaceful bedtime tonight. Ahhhh, the house is now quiet and off to work I go, right on the computer in the other room. I feel so grateful to be able to do this.
340. Starting my day with Doe, Ray, Me! Emmy and I sang along with Julie Andrews the whole way to school this morning!
341. Seeing the layers of the sunrise on my way to work.
342. Receiving a compliment first thing this morning at work from several who attended our pot luck yesterday said they felt our team bond just by sharing in our celebration. "You know how every so often, you get a group of people that just works, like a dream team? Well, that's what you all have, and you should cherish that." Cherish that we do, each and every one of us.
343. Leftover vegetable tamales and homemade salsa for a mid-morning snack - my new comfort food! So fulfilling and warming.
343. The aroma of the most fragrant melon and peach white tea that drifted out of my hot mug into my nose and throughout my office. Thank you Dina for the gift of a new box of tea!
344. Living vicariously those first exhilarating moments of new love, and deep happiness for the friend who is experiencing it first hand.
345. Groovin' bass lines and guitar that get me movin' in the car while listening to John Mayer's Battle Studies: Perfectly Lonely
346. Forgiving and letting go - release.
347. The unconditional love and support of my husband.
348. Getting to escape work to share Lily's 1st grade holiday celebration with her - one of my most favorite quiet moments of the season so far, just hugging her in my lap on the floor as her teacher read the traditional story of Rudolph.
349. Both Emmy and Lily having a peaceful bedtime tonight. Ahhhh, the house is now quiet and off to work I go, right on the computer in the other room. I feel so grateful to be able to do this.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Start #1: Gifts 335...
335. Grammy 911's:) I love that despite the distance, Emmy has a special connection with my mom. When Emmy's having an especially tough moment, such as last night, she cries for Grammy.
Being the rational mom that I am (most of the time), I told Emmy at bedtime that she couldn't have the baby in bed with her that makes noises when she's squeezed. Emmy didn't care for this so started to get very upset. I explained that the baby would wake her up in the middle of the night, and Emmy got even more upset. I told Emmy she had a choice: she could have the baby next to her bed on the beanbag chair, or she could not have the baby at all. Emmy started thrashing about on her bed, kicking the covers off, screaming - a true Emmy fit. So, I walked out with the baby.
Emmy roared even louder yelling, "I need Grammy!" After a couple of minutes I walked back in to her room, tried to help her calm down, and she softened to a cry, "I just want to talk to Grammy on the phone." I got the phone and dialed Grammy. When she answered I said, "Mom, we have a Grammy 911 over here." I passed the phone to Emmy.
My mom asked, "What's the matter Emmy?" And Emmy, in a barely audible broken voice said, "I just miss you Grammy." Her little chin started to quiver and my mom began to comfort her from miles and miles away. It melts my heart every time.
336. A very satisfied belly from a pot luck at work today that everyone brought something homemade to. Vegetable tamales, salsa, posole, turkey and gravy, mashed potatoes, tarragon almond string beans (thank you for the recipe mom!), pumpkin bread, and decorated cookies (courtesy of the Kuntz girls:)
337. Staying with Lily at her Daisy meeting today to make crafts with her and spend time together.
338. Being able to say what I feel.
Being the rational mom that I am (most of the time), I told Emmy at bedtime that she couldn't have the baby in bed with her that makes noises when she's squeezed. Emmy didn't care for this so started to get very upset. I explained that the baby would wake her up in the middle of the night, and Emmy got even more upset. I told Emmy she had a choice: she could have the baby next to her bed on the beanbag chair, or she could not have the baby at all. Emmy started thrashing about on her bed, kicking the covers off, screaming - a true Emmy fit. So, I walked out with the baby.
Emmy roared even louder yelling, "I need Grammy!" After a couple of minutes I walked back in to her room, tried to help her calm down, and she softened to a cry, "I just want to talk to Grammy on the phone." I got the phone and dialed Grammy. When she answered I said, "Mom, we have a Grammy 911 over here." I passed the phone to Emmy.
My mom asked, "What's the matter Emmy?" And Emmy, in a barely audible broken voice said, "I just miss you Grammy." Her little chin started to quiver and my mom began to comfort her from miles and miles away. It melts my heart every time.
336. A very satisfied belly from a pot luck at work today that everyone brought something homemade to. Vegetable tamales, salsa, posole, turkey and gravy, mashed potatoes, tarragon almond string beans (thank you for the recipe mom!), pumpkin bread, and decorated cookies (courtesy of the Kuntz girls:)
337. Staying with Lily at her Daisy meeting today to make crafts with her and spend time together.
338. Being able to say what I feel.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Start #1: Gifts 330...
330. Watching Dinosaur Hunters with Lily. It was a very bare bones (no pun intended) documentary about one of the first few crews allowed back into the fossil-rich Gobi desert since the 1920's on the hunt for dinosaur bones that would prove their link to the birds we have today. Lily and I were on the edge of our seats watching to see what they would unearth, and I was so excited reliving a part of my childhood. I got to share with Lily that when I was her age (and for years after) I wanted to be an archaeologist/paleontologist. She said, "You know Mom, it's not too late to change jobs!" Hmmm. I'll have to think about that one.
331. Lily giving me a great big hug at the end of the night last night as she said, "Thank you Mom so much for staying home with me today and taking care of me."
332. Changing my thinking last night, taking care of myself, and trusting my body. I was in a total panic feeling like I was coming down with the flu: drainage all day, raw sore throat, achy, chills, pounding headache. As fear and then panic set in, I made my garlic drink for the second night in a row, took a couple of aspirin, sucked on another echinacea cough drop, took a hot shower with eucalyptus oil steam then crawled into bed. I remembered my positive affirmations from Louise Hay and replaced my fear-based thoughts with thoughts that I am doing everything I can to take care of myself and heal my body. I finished with Reiki and was out by 10:15pm, woke up feeling like a new person! I am so grateful for my body's healing abilities!
333. On my way through a quiet hallway at work today catching the most beautiful view of both Camelback Mountain and Squaw Peak that I get out of the building's incredible panoramic windows.
334. Coming home from work today to Lily's first self-portrait on the kitchen counter just brought home from school - how very neat it is to see a reflection of my child's self through her own eyes and creativity!
331. Lily giving me a great big hug at the end of the night last night as she said, "Thank you Mom so much for staying home with me today and taking care of me."
332. Changing my thinking last night, taking care of myself, and trusting my body. I was in a total panic feeling like I was coming down with the flu: drainage all day, raw sore throat, achy, chills, pounding headache. As fear and then panic set in, I made my garlic drink for the second night in a row, took a couple of aspirin, sucked on another echinacea cough drop, took a hot shower with eucalyptus oil steam then crawled into bed. I remembered my positive affirmations from Louise Hay and replaced my fear-based thoughts with thoughts that I am doing everything I can to take care of myself and heal my body. I finished with Reiki and was out by 10:15pm, woke up feeling like a new person! I am so grateful for my body's healing abilities!
333. On my way through a quiet hallway at work today catching the most beautiful view of both Camelback Mountain and Squaw Peak that I get out of the building's incredible panoramic windows.
334. Coming home from work today to Lily's first self-portrait on the kitchen counter just brought home from school - how very neat it is to see a reflection of my child's self through her own eyes and creativity!
Monday, December 19, 2011
Start #1: Gifts 317...
317. Catching up on giving thanks after a busy weekend of holiday commotion.
318. Janet stopping by bright and early Saturday morning to drop off Emmy's Christmas dress and seeing her face delight just as much as Emmy's at the sight of it on as she twirled around and around the living room floor.
319. Some quiet time at the house with both girls taking a nap and Andy out grocery shopping.
320. Having the meals planned and grocery shopping done for the week by Saturday at 3pm!
321. Improvising when making budget adjustments. We no longer have cable, but now I can stream Parenthood to the laptop while I fold laundry at our dining room table in a house quiet with napping girls!
322. Realizing that we don't need cable as much as we thought we did. We have freed up more time to instead enjoy the time we do have with each other.
323. Starting a new holiday tradition, loading up the girls in pajamas and Molly in the car, some hot chocolate to go, and driving around the neighborhoods looking at lights together.
324. Seeing a dining room table and a toddler covered in flour while making Christmas cookies together, sharing smiles with Lily, Emmy, Harlee and Nonna.
325. Realizing that life is about choices and that sometimes we have to move from the backseat to the driver's seat.
326. Having yet another opportunity to learn to put ourselves and our needs first and to take care of ourselves as well as we take care of our children.
327. Nonna/Rose. A special thanks to you for giving yourself to our family yesterday, being there for: the cookies, the clean up after the cookies, the girls so Andy and I could dash out to help Santa, the cornbread muffins that you made to go with our crock pot chicken taco soup, the sharing of a meal together, the clean up after dinner, the cookie decorating (and adding your own touch of a gingerbread sandwich cookie in the shape of a heart), the clean up after cookie decorating, reading stories with both the girls, and staying to talk and laugh together after the girls went to bed. And thank you for NOT folding laundry, and I really do mean that:)
328. Our home feeling very warm with chicken chili and family over to enjoy it together.
329. A superstar of a husband who sneaks up and astonishes me when I'm least expecting it. Although he can never manage to put his clean, folded laundry away, all in the course of a day yesterday he made Christmas cookies, got dinner ready in the crock pot, went holiday shopping with me, helps in every way with the girls, fixed my clogged up bathroom sink, worked on handmade Christmas gifts together late into the evening, and kissed me goodnight, ending the day by telling me he loves me and holding my hand. I am married to a beautiful man. I love you Andy!
318. Janet stopping by bright and early Saturday morning to drop off Emmy's Christmas dress and seeing her face delight just as much as Emmy's at the sight of it on as she twirled around and around the living room floor.
319. Some quiet time at the house with both girls taking a nap and Andy out grocery shopping.
320. Having the meals planned and grocery shopping done for the week by Saturday at 3pm!
321. Improvising when making budget adjustments. We no longer have cable, but now I can stream Parenthood to the laptop while I fold laundry at our dining room table in a house quiet with napping girls!
322. Realizing that we don't need cable as much as we thought we did. We have freed up more time to instead enjoy the time we do have with each other.
323. Starting a new holiday tradition, loading up the girls in pajamas and Molly in the car, some hot chocolate to go, and driving around the neighborhoods looking at lights together.
324. Seeing a dining room table and a toddler covered in flour while making Christmas cookies together, sharing smiles with Lily, Emmy, Harlee and Nonna.
325. Realizing that life is about choices and that sometimes we have to move from the backseat to the driver's seat.
326. Having yet another opportunity to learn to put ourselves and our needs first and to take care of ourselves as well as we take care of our children.
327. Nonna/Rose. A special thanks to you for giving yourself to our family yesterday, being there for: the cookies, the clean up after the cookies, the girls so Andy and I could dash out to help Santa, the cornbread muffins that you made to go with our crock pot chicken taco soup, the sharing of a meal together, the clean up after dinner, the cookie decorating (and adding your own touch of a gingerbread sandwich cookie in the shape of a heart), the clean up after cookie decorating, reading stories with both the girls, and staying to talk and laugh together after the girls went to bed. And thank you for NOT folding laundry, and I really do mean that:)
328. Our home feeling very warm with chicken chili and family over to enjoy it together.
329. A superstar of a husband who sneaks up and astonishes me when I'm least expecting it. Although he can never manage to put his clean, folded laundry away, all in the course of a day yesterday he made Christmas cookies, got dinner ready in the crock pot, went holiday shopping with me, helps in every way with the girls, fixed my clogged up bathroom sink, worked on handmade Christmas gifts together late into the evening, and kissed me goodnight, ending the day by telling me he loves me and holding my hand. I am married to a beautiful man. I love you Andy!
Friday, December 16, 2011
Start #1: Gifts 307...
307. The feeling of Molly under my feet as I sit here typing, her warm body rising and falling with her breath that I can feel under my foot.
308. The soothing, cozy fragrance and amber light of this Ginger Pear candle that burns beside me as I type.
309. Participating in my first reiki for world peace on Wednesday night. I did have to duck into the bathroom to join in, but it was worth every second tucked away by myself, yet part of something so larger than I.
310. Andy, Lily, Emmy and I hugging each other, swaying back and forth as we listened to Lady Antebellum's Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas tonight after dinner.
311. A woman inviting me onto the freeway in front of her on the on-ramp in rush hour traffic on my way home, even with the hand gesture that says, "You go ahead, right here." That is virtually unheard of in Phoenix.
312. Taking a different way to work today that is much prettier than the way I usually take (I could see silhouettes of mountains and the tops of cacti and palms in front of the brightening dawn sky as I made my way to the central corridor, and I was 15 minutes early! I'll have to try that route again.
313. So thankful I don't have my boss' job to be a part of four firings and one performance plan all this week, the week before the holiday.
314. Emmy's preschool that provided hot chocolate with the largest marshmallow (singular, as in one per cup) that I have ever seen. The marshmallow took up the entire top of the Styrofoam cup.
315. Seeing Lily's face when she saw that I saved this hot chocolate and marshmallow just for her:)
316. Enjoying this moment as I am going to be in bed by 9:30 and will get the most sleep in a night than I have had for what feels like two weeks. Ahhhh, my pillow is calling me now!
308. The soothing, cozy fragrance and amber light of this Ginger Pear candle that burns beside me as I type.
309. Participating in my first reiki for world peace on Wednesday night. I did have to duck into the bathroom to join in, but it was worth every second tucked away by myself, yet part of something so larger than I.
310. Andy, Lily, Emmy and I hugging each other, swaying back and forth as we listened to Lady Antebellum's Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas tonight after dinner.
311. A woman inviting me onto the freeway in front of her on the on-ramp in rush hour traffic on my way home, even with the hand gesture that says, "You go ahead, right here." That is virtually unheard of in Phoenix.
312. Taking a different way to work today that is much prettier than the way I usually take (I could see silhouettes of mountains and the tops of cacti and palms in front of the brightening dawn sky as I made my way to the central corridor, and I was 15 minutes early! I'll have to try that route again.
313. So thankful I don't have my boss' job to be a part of four firings and one performance plan all this week, the week before the holiday.
314. Emmy's preschool that provided hot chocolate with the largest marshmallow (singular, as in one per cup) that I have ever seen. The marshmallow took up the entire top of the Styrofoam cup.
315. Seeing Lily's face when she saw that I saved this hot chocolate and marshmallow just for her:)
316. Enjoying this moment as I am going to be in bed by 9:30 and will get the most sleep in a night than I have had for what feels like two weeks. Ahhhh, my pillow is calling me now!
Start #3: Writer's Block Wednesday on Friday
Taste of Milk and Honey's Wednesday's word was bottle. I must have something to get out because the last three words: drink, slay, and bottle, have all brought me back to the same topic. I shied away from it the first two words, but the third one, I feel like I have no choice but to face it and get something out, whatever that may be. This is the result:
If you pour from that bottle
what do you think will happen?
Will your lips, tongue, bloodstream, then brain receive that initial flood, that impulse?
Will you sip, swallow
lingering in the comfort of
its friendship, its confidence, its assurance
that you are okay, yeah, I'm feeling good now
Limber in mouth and hips?
If you pour from that bottle again, will you recall
the clarity, bright as the stars on a crisp, cloudless winter's night
your heart, open like a window in the first breath of Spring
your thoughts, shining like the sun as it glints off the warm waves of the Pacific
the beauty of you - untouched, unscarred, unadorned by the falsity of it all?
Will you? Will you?
If you pour from that bottle
what do you think will happen?
Will your lips, tongue, bloodstream, then brain receive that initial flood, that impulse?
Will you sip, swallow
lingering in the comfort of
its friendship, its confidence, its assurance
that you are okay, yeah, I'm feeling good now
Limber in mouth and hips?
If you pour from that bottle again, will you recall
the clarity, bright as the stars on a crisp, cloudless winter's night
your heart, open like a window in the first breath of Spring
your thoughts, shining like the sun as it glints off the warm waves of the Pacific
the beauty of you - untouched, unscarred, unadorned by the falsity of it all?
Will you? Will you?
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Start #1: Gifts 294...
294. Celebrating Brooke's birthday with her!
295. Laughter with friends, and laughter, and more laughter - Laughter, you officially have an open invitation into my heart, my home, my family, my friends, my life. Thank you!
296. Red velvet cupcakes with mini chocolate chips topped with my first homemade cream cheese frosting, and seeing everyone at the birthday celebration indulge and enjoy, especially the birthday girl (and hopefully her husband when he got leftovers:)
297. Finishing the Head Start Federal review today and getting praise from the review team for a job well done!
298. Making another new recipe from Eating Well tonight, and everyone not only eating, but enjoying their dinner! Lily said, "Mom, I'm surprised!" Yes, she's surprised that I made dinner and that it tasted good. Whenever I cook I usually try new things and they don't usually go over so well with her. But, tonight was a winner - Tortellini Primavera, and the pasta just happened to be red, green and white, so I scored some Christmas points.
299. Being able to cash in on some of my rewards for my wellness program through my health insurance to get a free subscription to Eating Well's magazine - I think that's what I'm going to do with some of my wellness points:)
300. Wow - so grateful for 300 gifts to be thankful for, can't imagine my life without taking the time to appreciate.
301. Cooking dinner with Emmy's help in the kitchen while listening to Oscar Peterson's Christmas, and Andy coming home from work to this, a glass of wine waiting for him, and saying, "It's so festive in here!" Thank you to my dear Lynn for burning that CD for us, a lovely jazzy holiday CD.
302. While eating dinner tonight, Lily finding an "L" shaped carrot and a hear shaped spinach leaf in her salad, made us both smile.
303. Eating (well, it was really more like devouring) a couple of pieces of a just made, still warm from the oven lemon bundt cake that was delivered to our HR team at work from the partner of one of our directors.
304. Telling Andy about this delicious bundt cake at work and Emmy laughing so hard she has to stop eating because she thought I said butt cake. And because everything out of her mouth these days ends in butt, this was like inventing a new word that she can (and probably will) enjoy for weeks to come - butt cake!
305. Lily giving me a self defense class based on what she learned months ago at a field trip. The trainer she had must have really made an impression because Lily completely transformed as she taught me about the dangers of bad guys, the things they might try to do, and how I can protect myself. I am completely blown away and so proud of her. She is growing up before my eyes, and now I know some moves that I should have been the one to teach her. Things are changing, I am going to embrace learning from my children - not only the cycle of life, but a basic necessity of life - giving and receiving. Thank you my sweet Lily!
306. My "smoocheroonies" with Emmy that makes us both end the night in giggles.
295. Laughter with friends, and laughter, and more laughter - Laughter, you officially have an open invitation into my heart, my home, my family, my friends, my life. Thank you!
296. Red velvet cupcakes with mini chocolate chips topped with my first homemade cream cheese frosting, and seeing everyone at the birthday celebration indulge and enjoy, especially the birthday girl (and hopefully her husband when he got leftovers:)
297. Finishing the Head Start Federal review today and getting praise from the review team for a job well done!
298. Making another new recipe from Eating Well tonight, and everyone not only eating, but enjoying their dinner! Lily said, "Mom, I'm surprised!" Yes, she's surprised that I made dinner and that it tasted good. Whenever I cook I usually try new things and they don't usually go over so well with her. But, tonight was a winner - Tortellini Primavera, and the pasta just happened to be red, green and white, so I scored some Christmas points.
299. Being able to cash in on some of my rewards for my wellness program through my health insurance to get a free subscription to Eating Well's magazine - I think that's what I'm going to do with some of my wellness points:)
300. Wow - so grateful for 300 gifts to be thankful for, can't imagine my life without taking the time to appreciate.
301. Cooking dinner with Emmy's help in the kitchen while listening to Oscar Peterson's Christmas, and Andy coming home from work to this, a glass of wine waiting for him, and saying, "It's so festive in here!" Thank you to my dear Lynn for burning that CD for us, a lovely jazzy holiday CD.
302. While eating dinner tonight, Lily finding an "L" shaped carrot and a hear shaped spinach leaf in her salad, made us both smile.
303. Eating (well, it was really more like devouring) a couple of pieces of a just made, still warm from the oven lemon bundt cake that was delivered to our HR team at work from the partner of one of our directors.
304. Telling Andy about this delicious bundt cake at work and Emmy laughing so hard she has to stop eating because she thought I said butt cake. And because everything out of her mouth these days ends in butt, this was like inventing a new word that she can (and probably will) enjoy for weeks to come - butt cake!
305. Lily giving me a self defense class based on what she learned months ago at a field trip. The trainer she had must have really made an impression because Lily completely transformed as she taught me about the dangers of bad guys, the things they might try to do, and how I can protect myself. I am completely blown away and so proud of her. She is growing up before my eyes, and now I know some moves that I should have been the one to teach her. Things are changing, I am going to embrace learning from my children - not only the cycle of life, but a basic necessity of life - giving and receiving. Thank you my sweet Lily!
306. My "smoocheroonies" with Emmy that makes us both end the night in giggles.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Start #1: Gifts 284...
284. A dozen deliciously spicy tamales given to me, an unexpected gift!
285. Hearing a new version of Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas this morning that brought tears to my eyes, this one done by Lady Antebellum. It happens every year that I'm not able to go home to Wisconsin for the holidays that the I get caught up in the emotion of a Christmas song or a snapshot of a moment as we prepare for and experience the season. I can usually count on tear-filled eyes at Bing Crosby's White Christmas and I'll Be Home for Christmas, but this one snuck up on me as I was driving to work.
286. Getting out of the car at work and being "awake" enough to hear the hundreds of birds chirping overhead in the overgrown ficus trees that shade our parking lot. Physically awake as I arrive before most people, and awake - present in the moment to be lucky enough to hear this morning salutation.
287. Two days of solid rain, gray skies and winter-like temps in the desert, soaking in every drop.
288. Surviving day one of our HR piece of the Head Start Federal Review team, whew! Back at it again tomorrow.
289. Watching Emmy's holiday performance tonight. Watching her class ring their jingle bells that filled in where there mouths froze up was entertaining, but what was really enjoyable was watching the mom and grandpa two rows up from us dance and sing every motion of the Reindeer Hokey Pokey as they tried to encourage their child/grandchild to do what they had been practicing all week long. You put your antlers in, you put your antlers out...
290. Ask, believe, receive in action, three times in two days, and Andy and I cracking up at us starting small with tamales, Lou Malnati's pizza from Chicago, and a new straw replacement for my recently broken reusable cup. What we thought were coincidences have proven too odd to be just that, so here we go, on to bigger things!
291. Laughing so hard I had tears running down my face and both of my girls taking notice. This, to me, seems like healthy parenting.
292. Spending exactly what we budgeted for at the grocery store for the week, and getting more for our money with meal planning, a grocery list, coupons, generics, and even included laundry and dish detergents in my shopping! I feel so thankful to be working with our budget and learning how to live within our means.
293. Teamwork to get the (sometimes seemingly unfathomable) list of things done in day that needs to happen in order for our family and house to function. Thank you Andy, I love you so very much.
285. Hearing a new version of Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas this morning that brought tears to my eyes, this one done by Lady Antebellum. It happens every year that I'm not able to go home to Wisconsin for the holidays that the I get caught up in the emotion of a Christmas song or a snapshot of a moment as we prepare for and experience the season. I can usually count on tear-filled eyes at Bing Crosby's White Christmas and I'll Be Home for Christmas, but this one snuck up on me as I was driving to work.
286. Getting out of the car at work and being "awake" enough to hear the hundreds of birds chirping overhead in the overgrown ficus trees that shade our parking lot. Physically awake as I arrive before most people, and awake - present in the moment to be lucky enough to hear this morning salutation.
287. Two days of solid rain, gray skies and winter-like temps in the desert, soaking in every drop.
288. Surviving day one of our HR piece of the Head Start Federal Review team, whew! Back at it again tomorrow.
289. Watching Emmy's holiday performance tonight. Watching her class ring their jingle bells that filled in where there mouths froze up was entertaining, but what was really enjoyable was watching the mom and grandpa two rows up from us dance and sing every motion of the Reindeer Hokey Pokey as they tried to encourage their child/grandchild to do what they had been practicing all week long. You put your antlers in, you put your antlers out...
290. Ask, believe, receive in action, three times in two days, and Andy and I cracking up at us starting small with tamales, Lou Malnati's pizza from Chicago, and a new straw replacement for my recently broken reusable cup. What we thought were coincidences have proven too odd to be just that, so here we go, on to bigger things!
291. Laughing so hard I had tears running down my face and both of my girls taking notice. This, to me, seems like healthy parenting.
292. Spending exactly what we budgeted for at the grocery store for the week, and getting more for our money with meal planning, a grocery list, coupons, generics, and even included laundry and dish detergents in my shopping! I feel so thankful to be working with our budget and learning how to live within our means.
293. Teamwork to get the (sometimes seemingly unfathomable) list of things done in day that needs to happen in order for our family and house to function. Thank you Andy, I love you so very much.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Start #1: Gifts 276...
276. I think I found a new Sunday night ritual: Everyone in the house already asleep, a bath as hot as I can handle, a candle, and a neck to toes massage with Trader Joe's Lavender Salt Scrub. Thank you self for this treat!
277. Getting compliments on my new hand-me-down calf-high black boots with just enough heel that they're still comfortable, but that I look and feel like a lady.
278. A new hire telling me today that I did a really great job explaining her benefits. She said that she and her husband have been married just over a year, are now entering that stage of life where they need to use their health insurance, and wished that someone in HR at their last jobs had been so informative. How nice it is to feel like I did my job well and that I had fun doing it.
279. Working up a sweat today while pulling files for our once-every-three-years federal Head Start Review. I completely took advantage of the task and did squats every time I had to pull from the lower files. To know that I got activity in during the day rather than melting into my desk chair felt invigorating, especially because I learned last week that sitting at a desk job for 8 hours a day increases the risk of colon cancer alone by 50 percent; I've been pondering that one a lot since last Thursday when I first learned it.
280. Emmy's giving us her first school gift, a homemade Rudolph ornament made out of popsicle sticks, glue-on-eyes, a red nose and string. It was wrapped in a large piece of butcher paper held together at odd ends and sides with stickers. She was supposed to give the gift to Andy and I, but couldn't help herself from opening what she had already wrapped. Her eyes widened and her mouth spread into a smile as she opened what she already knew was in the wrapping, so cute it made me laugh. Then her smile of surprise turned into one of pride as she heard us oooh and ahhh over it and thank her for the gift.
281. Story time with Lily and Molly. Whenever we read stories with Lily in her bed at the end of the night, Molly joins us but lays on the floor at the foot of the bed. When Andy was gone Saturday night, Lily and I thought we would treat Molly (and us), and invite her on the bed for story time.
The rule in the house I grew up in was no dogs allowed upstairs where all the bedrooms were. I have always been against dogs in the bed, or even in the bedroom. After waking up in the middle of the night from Molly while trying to get sleep from a frequent night-waking infant and toddler, we decided that was the end of that. But Lily and Molly have really been bonding so much lately that we thought it might be a nice treat. Just for story time. Just us girls. And then I found out that Andy did the same thing with Lily last night when it was his turn to read stories, so I think this is Molly's new bed for story time.
282. Feeling sore right now from yoga yesterday morning, the kind of sore where I know I did something good for myself.
283. Knowing if I get up from the computer right now, I can be in bed by 10:30pm, my earliest night in longer than I can remember!
277. Getting compliments on my new hand-me-down calf-high black boots with just enough heel that they're still comfortable, but that I look and feel like a lady.
278. A new hire telling me today that I did a really great job explaining her benefits. She said that she and her husband have been married just over a year, are now entering that stage of life where they need to use their health insurance, and wished that someone in HR at their last jobs had been so informative. How nice it is to feel like I did my job well and that I had fun doing it.
279. Working up a sweat today while pulling files for our once-every-three-years federal Head Start Review. I completely took advantage of the task and did squats every time I had to pull from the lower files. To know that I got activity in during the day rather than melting into my desk chair felt invigorating, especially because I learned last week that sitting at a desk job for 8 hours a day increases the risk of colon cancer alone by 50 percent; I've been pondering that one a lot since last Thursday when I first learned it.
280. Emmy's giving us her first school gift, a homemade Rudolph ornament made out of popsicle sticks, glue-on-eyes, a red nose and string. It was wrapped in a large piece of butcher paper held together at odd ends and sides with stickers. She was supposed to give the gift to Andy and I, but couldn't help herself from opening what she had already wrapped. Her eyes widened and her mouth spread into a smile as she opened what she already knew was in the wrapping, so cute it made me laugh. Then her smile of surprise turned into one of pride as she heard us oooh and ahhh over it and thank her for the gift.
281. Story time with Lily and Molly. Whenever we read stories with Lily in her bed at the end of the night, Molly joins us but lays on the floor at the foot of the bed. When Andy was gone Saturday night, Lily and I thought we would treat Molly (and us), and invite her on the bed for story time.
The rule in the house I grew up in was no dogs allowed upstairs where all the bedrooms were. I have always been against dogs in the bed, or even in the bedroom. After waking up in the middle of the night from Molly while trying to get sleep from a frequent night-waking infant and toddler, we decided that was the end of that. But Lily and Molly have really been bonding so much lately that we thought it might be a nice treat. Just for story time. Just us girls. And then I found out that Andy did the same thing with Lily last night when it was his turn to read stories, so I think this is Molly's new bed for story time.
282. Feeling sore right now from yoga yesterday morning, the kind of sore where I know I did something good for myself.
283. Knowing if I get up from the computer right now, I can be in bed by 10:30pm, my earliest night in longer than I can remember!
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Start #1: Gifts 265...
265. In bed on a Sunday morning until the clock turned 8:00.
266. No coffee this weekend, just my green tea that seems to keep me alert, soothed, and a lot more stable. I'm sure those around me thank me for this too:)
267. Clean toilet, shower stall and bathtub all in the same day! Usually I only manage to do one of the three of my least favorites in one shot, but feels so good to do have them all done.
268. Hot water on demand to make cleaning, laundry and dish duty so much easier.
269. Walking and talking to the park and back with our round-the-corner neighbors, such nice people.
270. Learning new things about people I know and the notion that everyone has a story to tell.
271. Discovering the world of DIY.
272. A spontaneous pause in the kitchen, me leaning into Andy, side-by-side, arms looped around each others' backs, backs against the kitchen counter as we shared a beautifully ripe, juicy pear.
273. The way music can change a moment. The whole house and all those in it mellowed and smiled to James Taylor's Christmas just before bedtime.
274. A nice phone chat with Dad and hearing him laugh that laugh I love that I don't have the pleasure of hearing all the time.
275. The hot bath I'm about to take in my clean tub.
266. No coffee this weekend, just my green tea that seems to keep me alert, soothed, and a lot more stable. I'm sure those around me thank me for this too:)
267. Clean toilet, shower stall and bathtub all in the same day! Usually I only manage to do one of the three of my least favorites in one shot, but feels so good to do have them all done.
268. Hot water on demand to make cleaning, laundry and dish duty so much easier.
269. Walking and talking to the park and back with our round-the-corner neighbors, such nice people.
270. Learning new things about people I know and the notion that everyone has a story to tell.
271. Discovering the world of DIY.
272. A spontaneous pause in the kitchen, me leaning into Andy, side-by-side, arms looped around each others' backs, backs against the kitchen counter as we shared a beautifully ripe, juicy pear.
273. The way music can change a moment. The whole house and all those in it mellowed and smiled to James Taylor's Christmas just before bedtime.
274. A nice phone chat with Dad and hearing him laugh that laugh I love that I don't have the pleasure of hearing all the time.
275. The hot bath I'm about to take in my clean tub.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Start #1: Gifts 255...
255. My boss telling me I could go home early on Friday to pick up Emmy and take her home for some good rest.
256. Shopping with Emmy and in the middle of an aisle full of people hearing her say, "Mommy, I farted." Only Emmy can get smiles out of people for that.
257. Our home filled with amazing friends, children's laughter, incredible food, old school jivin' holiday tunes, and the good cheer and warmth of the season.
258. Andy's fruit-filled Sangria.
259. Bonfires.
260. Going to be with a full heart from our evening of the above.
261. More delicate roses in shades of cream and a whisper of pink blooming in our front yard, and Lily cutting some blossoms off at her own will to share today with her girl scout troop leaders.
262. Finding a $25 coupon in my purse today for an unexpected car repair, bringing the total down to $98.
263. The vulnerability of life in such fragile moments, like watching Lily and her girl scout troop bring holiday carols, cookies, and sweet child smiles to a nursing home this afternoon. The exchanges between the girls and the elderly were so tender and unscripted.
264. A long, uninterrupted phone conversation in my car with my dear Ginger. I love you Ginger!
256. Shopping with Emmy and in the middle of an aisle full of people hearing her say, "Mommy, I farted." Only Emmy can get smiles out of people for that.
257. Our home filled with amazing friends, children's laughter, incredible food, old school jivin' holiday tunes, and the good cheer and warmth of the season.
258. Andy's fruit-filled Sangria.
259. Bonfires.
260. Going to be with a full heart from our evening of the above.
261. More delicate roses in shades of cream and a whisper of pink blooming in our front yard, and Lily cutting some blossoms off at her own will to share today with her girl scout troop leaders.
262. Finding a $25 coupon in my purse today for an unexpected car repair, bringing the total down to $98.
263. The vulnerability of life in such fragile moments, like watching Lily and her girl scout troop bring holiday carols, cookies, and sweet child smiles to a nursing home this afternoon. The exchanges between the girls and the elderly were so tender and unscripted.
264. A long, uninterrupted phone conversation in my car with my dear Ginger. I love you Ginger!
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Start #1: Gifts 252
252. Starting the day with Madonna's "Vogue" on the radio, remembering another lifetime ago where I danced the night away in a discoteca in Spain with Lynn and handsome Spaniards, a buried memory brought to life in my mind as I drove to work at 6am.
253. Driving down Central Ave. today, a different route than the usual. I drove in such pleasant peace at the overhang of trees still wearing their fall clothes of amber, yellow, orange, green and gold.
254. Knowing that tomorrow is Friday; one more day until our annual friends Christmas celebration, at our home this year, and one more day until two days of rest.
253. Driving down Central Ave. today, a different route than the usual. I drove in such pleasant peace at the overhang of trees still wearing their fall clothes of amber, yellow, orange, green and gold.
254. Knowing that tomorrow is Friday; one more day until our annual friends Christmas celebration, at our home this year, and one more day until two days of rest.
Start #3: Writer's Block Wednesday on Thursday
"Slay" was Taste of Milk & Honey's word for the day. My first Writer's Block Wednesday, and my first poetry (if it can be called that) since ?
Slay the Dragon
The dragon that dwells
slinks, sways, and smolders
subsides in the depths
of my core.
The dragon feeds
on my swallowed voice
my thoughts unexpressed
He lurches with flame and fury
I strike
I write
I feel
He shudders in recoil from the blow,
this dragon named Doubt.
I believe
I can
I am
Alive
I slay
This beast falls to the ground in a thunder, disintegrates
transforms into a million raindrops
flooding upwards, against the current of my blood
to the heavens
to return, anew.
Slay the Dragon
The dragon that dwells
slinks, sways, and smolders
subsides in the depths
of my core.
The dragon feeds
on my swallowed voice
my thoughts unexpressed
He lurches with flame and fury
I strike
I write
I feel
He shudders in recoil from the blow,
this dragon named Doubt.
I believe
I can
I am
Alive
I slay
This beast falls to the ground in a thunder, disintegrates
transforms into a million raindrops
flooding upwards, against the current of my blood
to the heavens
to return, anew.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Start #1: Gifts 242...
242. Emmy fever-free for over 24 hours and getting back to your spunky, little self.
243. Home with Emmy for a full day, enjoying hugs, kisses, reading, movies, singing, and a little bit of fresh air.
244. Being able to walk Lily to her class during the first bell, the halls flooded with kids and all that noise that comes with them.
245. And, being able to pick Lily up from school, all in the same day. Would love more days like that.
246. Looking over at driver in the car next to me on the road (a long-time habit of mine) to see a fifty-something woman with a black bob blowing a gigantic gum bubble while driving her new VW Beetle. Made me smile:)
247. My warm lentil salad recipe turning out AMAZING tonight. Yum.
248. Excited at getting a peak into the world of blogging today while checking out Pinterest, so many people doing so many great things. In just a minute of exploring, I may have found a recipe for making a year's supply of Shea butter liquid soap for $4! Wow.
249. Streets that normally bathe in the contrast of shadow and streetlight now adorned with the sparkle and color of holiday lights.
250. Nonna being able to be with Emmy again tomorrow, so comforting to know Emmy has another day of R & R ahead of her and that it's with her Nonna.
251. Emails from Brooke. Just love my emails from Brooke and love, love you Brooke:)
243. Home with Emmy for a full day, enjoying hugs, kisses, reading, movies, singing, and a little bit of fresh air.
244. Being able to walk Lily to her class during the first bell, the halls flooded with kids and all that noise that comes with them.
245. And, being able to pick Lily up from school, all in the same day. Would love more days like that.
246. Looking over at driver in the car next to me on the road (a long-time habit of mine) to see a fifty-something woman with a black bob blowing a gigantic gum bubble while driving her new VW Beetle. Made me smile:)
247. My warm lentil salad recipe turning out AMAZING tonight. Yum.
248. Excited at getting a peak into the world of blogging today while checking out Pinterest, so many people doing so many great things. In just a minute of exploring, I may have found a recipe for making a year's supply of Shea butter liquid soap for $4! Wow.
249. Streets that normally bathe in the contrast of shadow and streetlight now adorned with the sparkle and color of holiday lights.
250. Nonna being able to be with Emmy again tomorrow, so comforting to know Emmy has another day of R & R ahead of her and that it's with her Nonna.
251. Emails from Brooke. Just love my emails from Brooke and love, love you Brooke:)
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Start #3: Writer's Block Wednesdays
I decided last week when looking at Taste of Milk and Honey's blog invitation to participate in her Writer's Block Wednesdays, that I would join in the fun in hopes to energize that creative flow within me. Last Wednesday's word was "drink". I thought and thought about this one, and started many versions over and over. Deciding that I wasn't ready to tackle all the dark thoughts this one word conjured for me, I put it aside, shelved it in my mind for a few days.
I've been reading one section a night of Jon Kabat-Zinn's Wherever You Go There You Are to help me in my efforts to bring meditation, awareness, peacefulness, and mindfulness into my life. I've read this book once before and it helped me calm my mind at a time of transition from Phoenix to Flagstaff, from living single to living with Andy, and it helped me tremendously. Now just seemed like the right time to pick this one up again.
I came upon this quote in Kabat Zinn's book on Sunday night. Although I didn't write it myself, it was the most beautiful use of "drink" so wanted to share in place of my own writing for last Wednesday's word:
Thank you Tina for inspiring me. I'm looking forward to Wednesdays!
I've been reading one section a night of Jon Kabat-Zinn's Wherever You Go There You Are to help me in my efforts to bring meditation, awareness, peacefulness, and mindfulness into my life. I've read this book once before and it helped me calm my mind at a time of transition from Phoenix to Flagstaff, from living single to living with Andy, and it helped me tremendously. Now just seemed like the right time to pick this one up again.
I came upon this quote in Kabat Zinn's book on Sunday night. Although I didn't write it myself, it was the most beautiful use of "drink" so wanted to share in place of my own writing for last Wednesday's word:
Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in. I drink at it; but while I drink, I see the sandy bottom and detect how shallow it is. Its thin current slides away, but eternity remains. I would drink deeper; fish in the sky, whose bottom is pebbly with stars.Thoreau, Walden
Thank you Tina for inspiring me. I'm looking forward to Wednesdays!
Start #1: Gifts 225...
225. Feeling like I'm coming home to myself as I sit here to remember and feel my gifts, my gratitudes.
226. Realizing in a tearful goodbye Saturday morning how much Andy, Lily, Emmy and I really do cherish our time together. We made the decision that Andy and Lily would go North to meet up with the rest of the family for our first Polar Express adventure without me, Emmy and Molly because Emmy woke up in the wee, dark hours between Friday and Saturday with a fever. It was in that lingering goodbye that I was able to SEE the bond we are building with our daughters, they with us, and the two of them together - that bond that up until now was a hope in the back of my mind that I thought wouldn't appear until years down the road, the hope that maybe, just maybe, we're doing something right.
227. Deciding last minute to join the family up North despite the fever. I will forever cherish our Polar Express experience - nothing like seeing my children's and niece's faces light up with anticipation and wonder at seeing the glow of the lights of the North Pole fly by through steamy train windows. Thank you Rose/Nonna for giving us this gift to share together as a family!
228. Snow, snow, and more snow on our way to Polar Express. Real live snow and the dip of the thermostat that accompanies. Thank you Donny for getting us there and back safely!
229. Beautiful Arizona landscape in a blanket of white topped with low, misty clouds.
230. Andy, Lily, Emmy and I sitting at the dining room table after dinner Sunday night, each of us showing off our best "Chubby Family", one of Emmy's favorite things to do. You know, squeezing your cheeks between your palms and saying, "Hi, my name is chubby. My mom is chubby, my dad is chubby, and even my doooog is chubby..."? Andy taught me the whole thing, because I had never heard it until hearing the girls do it, then demonstrated for me this joy that he said his mom used to do with him that always made him crack up. I laughed to tears, the best kind of laugh to share together. Emmy was laughing so hard she was shaking. We all took turns and shared chubby laughs.
231. Spending three hours together with Andy working on our budget on Sunday. Okay, so the process wasn't fun, but still something to be very thankful for because we did it together. When I wanted to give up, he was there pulling us through. When Andy wanted to give up, I was there pushing us on. We have quite a long way to go, but the commitment to each other and our financial future that surfaced during the process is worth this difficult start.
232. Saying goodnight to Molly. It is odd that she goes to sleep before we do, but she was crashed out on Sunday. I went over to her bed to say goodnight and she opened her eyes just enough to see me, hardly slits, and whimpered softly as I held her warm, furry head in my hands, massaging the top of her head between her ears.
233. Lily and I sharing some time together before bed, naming all the words we could that start with different letters, laughing at what each other came up with.
234. Receiving a gift of thanks from my family. I cried at the sentiments mom, dad and Jake mailed to us to share on our Thanksgiving "Give Thanks" board. Thank you all for welcoming Andy so loving and wholeheartedly into our family - just as much today as the day he and I got married nearly ten years ago, and for supporting us in all we do. We love you!
235. A boss who gives me the flexibility, without question, to be home with a sick child when I need to be.
236. Getting excited about omega three's and nutrition from my knowledgeable, compassionate Aunt Barb. So excited for Barb to launch her nutritional consulting business soon - you are amazing Barb!
237. Tackling our debts, understanding every penny of our expenses, and the freedom I feel from canceling our cable yesterday. Ahhhhh.
238. Seeing stars on the top of all the papers I pulled out of Lily's backpack las week but that I didn't go through until last night, indicating that she put in more than 100% effort.
239. Being able to stay home tomorrow with Emmy who is still not well. Maybe she needs a day of snuggling with momma just as much as I need that time with her to feel like I'm doing everything I can to get her better.
240. Most addicting, do-it-yourself, inspiring, fun, get-your-creative-juices-flowing website I've ever seen http://www.pinterest.com/. And thank you Kat for sharing this with me!
241. The results of my first biometrics screening today, all within ideal range numbers for blood pressure, BMI, cholesterol, good fats, bad fats, and blood glucose. I feel like this is a gift to me and to my family. I'm thanking myself for making healthy choices most of the time, and grateful that my indulgences of late have not caught up with me too badly.
226. Realizing in a tearful goodbye Saturday morning how much Andy, Lily, Emmy and I really do cherish our time together. We made the decision that Andy and Lily would go North to meet up with the rest of the family for our first Polar Express adventure without me, Emmy and Molly because Emmy woke up in the wee, dark hours between Friday and Saturday with a fever. It was in that lingering goodbye that I was able to SEE the bond we are building with our daughters, they with us, and the two of them together - that bond that up until now was a hope in the back of my mind that I thought wouldn't appear until years down the road, the hope that maybe, just maybe, we're doing something right.
227. Deciding last minute to join the family up North despite the fever. I will forever cherish our Polar Express experience - nothing like seeing my children's and niece's faces light up with anticipation and wonder at seeing the glow of the lights of the North Pole fly by through steamy train windows. Thank you Rose/Nonna for giving us this gift to share together as a family!
228. Snow, snow, and more snow on our way to Polar Express. Real live snow and the dip of the thermostat that accompanies. Thank you Donny for getting us there and back safely!
229. Beautiful Arizona landscape in a blanket of white topped with low, misty clouds.
230. Andy, Lily, Emmy and I sitting at the dining room table after dinner Sunday night, each of us showing off our best "Chubby Family", one of Emmy's favorite things to do. You know, squeezing your cheeks between your palms and saying, "Hi, my name is chubby. My mom is chubby, my dad is chubby, and even my doooog is chubby..."? Andy taught me the whole thing, because I had never heard it until hearing the girls do it, then demonstrated for me this joy that he said his mom used to do with him that always made him crack up. I laughed to tears, the best kind of laugh to share together. Emmy was laughing so hard she was shaking. We all took turns and shared chubby laughs.
231. Spending three hours together with Andy working on our budget on Sunday. Okay, so the process wasn't fun, but still something to be very thankful for because we did it together. When I wanted to give up, he was there pulling us through. When Andy wanted to give up, I was there pushing us on. We have quite a long way to go, but the commitment to each other and our financial future that surfaced during the process is worth this difficult start.
232. Saying goodnight to Molly. It is odd that she goes to sleep before we do, but she was crashed out on Sunday. I went over to her bed to say goodnight and she opened her eyes just enough to see me, hardly slits, and whimpered softly as I held her warm, furry head in my hands, massaging the top of her head between her ears.
233. Lily and I sharing some time together before bed, naming all the words we could that start with different letters, laughing at what each other came up with.
234. Receiving a gift of thanks from my family. I cried at the sentiments mom, dad and Jake mailed to us to share on our Thanksgiving "Give Thanks" board. Thank you all for welcoming Andy so loving and wholeheartedly into our family - just as much today as the day he and I got married nearly ten years ago, and for supporting us in all we do. We love you!
235. A boss who gives me the flexibility, without question, to be home with a sick child when I need to be.
236. Getting excited about omega three's and nutrition from my knowledgeable, compassionate Aunt Barb. So excited for Barb to launch her nutritional consulting business soon - you are amazing Barb!
237. Tackling our debts, understanding every penny of our expenses, and the freedom I feel from canceling our cable yesterday. Ahhhhh.
238. Seeing stars on the top of all the papers I pulled out of Lily's backpack las week but that I didn't go through until last night, indicating that she put in more than 100% effort.
239. Being able to stay home tomorrow with Emmy who is still not well. Maybe she needs a day of snuggling with momma just as much as I need that time with her to feel like I'm doing everything I can to get her better.
240. Most addicting, do-it-yourself, inspiring, fun, get-your-creative-juices-flowing website I've ever seen http://www.pinterest.com/. And thank you Kat for sharing this with me!
241. The results of my first biometrics screening today, all within ideal range numbers for blood pressure, BMI, cholesterol, good fats, bad fats, and blood glucose. I feel like this is a gift to me and to my family. I'm thanking myself for making healthy choices most of the time, and grateful that my indulgences of late have not caught up with me too badly.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Start #1: Gifts 221...
221. An email from my mom, a phone call from brother Jake - just got enrolled in school - followed by another call from my dad all in the same day. So nice to know that despite the miles, I felt very connected to my family. Although I didn't hear from brother Phil, I did get the news that he got his first paycheck since being off unemployment. Looking forward to catching up with them all more over the weekend when we can all squeeze in a call.
222. A new winter jacket for Lily that just might work - a huge feat for our sensory challenged, amazing more than words can describe daughter.
223. Hot, creamy chicken, cheese, broccoli casserole - the Midwest kind with various cans of Campbells' Creams of... Comforting on a cold, winter day.
224. Five loads of laundry folded and two and a half episodes of Parenthood enjoyed:)
222. A new winter jacket for Lily that just might work - a huge feat for our sensory challenged, amazing more than words can describe daughter.
223. Hot, creamy chicken, cheese, broccoli casserole - the Midwest kind with various cans of Campbells' Creams of... Comforting on a cold, winter day.
224. Five loads of laundry folded and two and a half episodes of Parenthood enjoyed:)
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Start #1: Gifts 217...
217. Listening to John Jay & Rich's Christmas Wish on my way to work this morning. They called a family who lost their home and everything in it to a fire two days before Thanksgiving and read on the air a list of gift cards, toys, household goods, and a Christmas tree with ornaments that was waiting outside the front door of the hotel the family was staying in. My heart went out to that family as I imagined what they had been through (having also lost their three-year old daughter to a medical illness), and what they must feel like knowing their son's teachers love him and nominated his family for this gift. My heart swelled even larger still with gratitude for all that we have, the daughters who fill our lives with love every day, and the little things like toilet paper, towels, slippers, and a warm bed to crawl into at night that now seem like such luxuries.
218. While in my moment of gratitude (above), avoiding a multi-car crash right next to me on the I-17. In the midst of mad morning traffic, I felt like I was surrounded by a bubble of grace that allowed me to navigate completely coherently and safely around this horrible accident that at first sight and sound seemed inevitable that I would be a part of.
219. My walking angel Judy who called moments after my near-miss and walked me through pulling off the highway, deep breathing, stretches, and a quick walk around the car to ground myself again before going on with my day. She reminded me of the beauty of what just happened, believing that being IN GRATITUDE protected me.
220. Our annual Christmas dress shopping (and "accessories head to toe") that Janet does for Lily each year, the smile that sparkled on Lily tonight just as brilliantly as the glitter on her dress, and excited for Emmy to take part next year.
218. While in my moment of gratitude (above), avoiding a multi-car crash right next to me on the I-17. In the midst of mad morning traffic, I felt like I was surrounded by a bubble of grace that allowed me to navigate completely coherently and safely around this horrible accident that at first sight and sound seemed inevitable that I would be a part of.
219. My walking angel Judy who called moments after my near-miss and walked me through pulling off the highway, deep breathing, stretches, and a quick walk around the car to ground myself again before going on with my day. She reminded me of the beauty of what just happened, believing that being IN GRATITUDE protected me.
220. Our annual Christmas dress shopping (and "accessories head to toe") that Janet does for Lily each year, the smile that sparkled on Lily tonight just as brilliantly as the glitter on her dress, and excited for Emmy to take part next year.
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