Starting Now: Start #1: Gift 870

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Start #1: Gift 870

870. So thankful for Andy in my life. I have been a bear to be with since Sunday (well, Andy may argue that I, in our lifetime together, traverse the miles between bear, bear cub, and back again). Emotions have been coursing through me, roving, not quite sure where they belong yet; some of them are lashed out in hasty words, others are held in - percolating, while still others are jotted down in a notebook at my bedside table. The words that have recently escaped before their time have been based in fear and insecurity, and a fraction of hormone surge.

Andy patiently listens. He watches me while I flail wildly with my words and gestures. He offers suggestions for the things he knows he can help with that we have agreed to partner together on, like our finances. And for things he, like I, don't have answers for, he listens. In the craze of our days, he takes the time to hug, and fills small moments with his love for me and for food: The lone lemon wedge put in a small plastic bag in the bottom of my lunch bag today to add to the leftover homemade chicken soup he made on Sunday - this that I brushed off as unnecessary and a waste of time, to him is to love and to take care. Today, I am grateful to him for these thoughts and gestures, for this patience and softness, for him being my husband, and for the lemon wedge that I forgot to add to my soup so that we could talk about it tonight.

4 comments:

JoyfulEatsMarch 28, 2012 at 3:17 PM
Love this post!

How many loving gestures go unnoticed because they've not been viewed through a lens of gratitude. Love is, actually, all around us!(my favorite movie)
ReplyDelete
Replies
Starting NowMarch 28, 2012 at 10:09 PM
Too many have gone unnoticed for me as of late. I hope this is the turnaround:) Love, Actually? Is that the name? Hoping to watch Hungry for Change on Friday or Saturday night! THANK YOU!
ReplyDelete
Replies
JoyfulEatsMarch 29, 2012 at 10:10 AM
Love Actually - Best movie ever!

maybe your healing - all those emotions are bubbling up now because they're ready to be felt and acknowledged deeply, to the core, so that they can then be released forever. It's not easy or fun, but it promises to be rich and rewarding and full of growth.

Thinking of you and your family!
ReplyDelete
Replies
Starting NowMarch 29, 2012 at 10:18 PM
Thank you so much for the encouragement to feel and release, I love that positive spin that you've given me:) xo
ReplyDelete
Replies

Add comment

Welcome to Starting Now

Starting Now, I am starting to finish. Always prolific in my starts, I give birth to many ideas that flutter like a baby bird leaving the nest for the first time. In what feels to be the thick of my life (see "About Me"), there is no better time than now to take flight, to make my finishes as abundant as my starts. I no longer have limitless time or desire to clean up the mental and physical chaos created by starting many things and not fnishing one.

It is my hope that in starting now (for there is only now) and starting here on the page, that I will reach through the initial excitement of a thought, a project, a relationship just beginning, etc.... I will abandon my fear of yet another fallen start, sorrow heavy on my mind and in my heart to instead, give strong wings to my start, life to my lungs, and clarity to my psyche as I soar from one project to the next.

A bit lofty, I realize, but in starting this blog, I am creating accountabilty for myself to show up at the page every day. To show up is to write every day. Create. Improve every day. Learn. Hone the idea, thought, project, progress every day. Grow. And perhaps, learn from others who care to share their ideas on starts and finishes, as together, we spur a community of finishers able to relish in the life and gift - to ourselves and those we share our lives and gifts with - of what we finished, and what we start anew, again, now.

The idea is that as I embark on a start, I will track it here to its finish. Add thoughts if you like, or share your own starts, what you learn along the way, ideas for improvement and efficiency, how you enjoy the journey. For I realize that life is not simply about finishing, but the journey along the way. Yet, I am learning that to finish (something, anything, if even just for today it is folding the laundy and putting it away), boosts my confidence and becomes the catalyst for the birth and life of another start. Another contribution to our beautiful world.

My Life

Mother to Lily and Emmy, two young girls alike only in their adoring, interesting, active, sensitive, loving, creative ways; wife to Andy who has an uncanny resemblance of characteristics to the ways of our girls and who is a recovering (at least that is my wish!) non-finisher like me; caretaker of our human-like Irish red and white setter named Molly, and;

Breathe, ahhhh

Active participant in our lives filled with work, school, deadlines I struggle to meet, homework, cooking, appointments, relationships, laughter, sometimes screaming (we’re all working on that), play, bills, travel, gymnastics, walks with the dog, reading, managing technology and schedules, exercising our independence and learning to work together (and the balance of the two), trying to make healthy choices, and, did I forget anything?

Yes! In honor of my first start, breathing fully (I often forget to do this) and practicing gratitude. Thank you breath, for you give me life!