Finding Comfort in Gratitude

Sunday, August 5, 2012

It's the end of the night at the end of a very difficult week, an eve and a sunrise before starting yet another difficult week.  Difficult is, of course, relative; but for us, this week was right up there on the charts.

I was making lunches for tomorrow in the quiet of the kitchen tonight, the place one is most likely able to think when it's bath/shower time for the girls at the other end of the house.  Having just zested a whole lemon, I sliced it in half and put half on top of the hand-juicer.  I then placed my open palm onto the lemon half and pushed down onto the juicer  in small circular motions to squeeze out all that lemon had to offer.  All of a sudden, I noticed how lovely my hand felt moving over each of the grooves I made in the lemon with the zester.  It was also the multisensory experience of it all: fresh lemon wafting up in my nostrils, the new sensation in the palm of my hand, and the much needed few moments of quiet in my mind, even though the house was anything but.

Ahhhh!  Something to be so very grateful for in that very moment.  The beautiful simplicity of it all, and that I was able to get out of my head into that precise moment of real time: being present, as many would call it.

Now as I'm typing, I'm thinking that the 21-day meditation challenge I've been participating in is really working, possibly subconsciously sinking in!  This is very exciting!  I could sense by today and the two and three weeks leading up to today that I haven't been ready to relinquish myself to now.  For some reason, I've chosen to make myself suffer, moreso than I would have otherwise given the events of the week alone.

Anyway, that was a side note for myself.  Back to my lemon.  As I indulged myself in that experience for a minute or two, it made me want to immediately get back to gratitude - to be thankful for this moment that moved my soul back in my heart instead of in my head where it's been swimming around, or floundering rather, for much too long.

So here I am, back to the page, to my religion of giving thanks.  Period.  No more counting though, I think just reflecting, writing, feeling, and believing in my thanks will be most meaningful this time around:

• That my parents take the time to enjoy each other's company through bike rides, sharing meals, lake swimming, art festival walking, games, live music and so much more.  Grateful for the example they set after nearly 39 years of marriage.
• Their patience on the phone this morning as I walked them through all 300+ slides of our vacation photos because I wanted them so much to be enjoying it right there with us while we were away.
• A splash of coffee in a mug of warmed vanilla almond milk sprinkled with cinnamon.
• One-on-one time with each of my girls today.
• Lily's desire to add to her small rock collection.  Definitely something we can share and take great joy in doing together.
• The deep, full, relaxed breaths this experience of gratitude is giving back to me right now.
• A sunset hike together - our family of four, and Molly too.
• Taking in the beautiful 360 degree sunset sky and desert views that our neighborhood affords us the pleasure of.  I needed that fix of nature today more than I could have ever known.
• Tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches, even on a 110 degree day.
• Ending my night with gratitude and day 16 of the 21-day meditation challenge.