Wow, it's amazing what looking through a box of wedding memories does for building a grateful heart. It started yesterday with the girls as I opened the vault (that's what it felt like!) for the first time in 10 years. I was looking for a recording of Andy's Grandpa "Toe" reciting the Lord's Prayer so Andy's cousin can use it at his upcoming wedding. As I took things out of the box, the girls dissected them one by one.
First was a Lenox box that contains what was our cake topper - a beautiful ceramic figurine of a bride and groom under an arch. Lily asked, "Mom, what is this for?" I told her it was a cake topper. She burst into laughter and said, "Oh, I thought it for the top of your Christmas tree!" We both chuckled together, and then she asked "Mom, were you the bride or the groom?"
I looked at all the pictures and messages from our engagement party in Phoenix, and pictures and messages from our bridal shower "in absentia" from Wisconsin. It was so touching to see people so excited for us to be on the brink of writing the next chapter in our life.
Next was a wedding candle wrapped in tulle. Lily unwrapped it, put the tulle on her head and said, "And was this your veil?"
"No," I answered, "but I do have the veil in the closet." While I went to unearth the dress and veil, I heard Emmy and Lily talking. Emmy was looking at wedding pictures and asked Lily, "Was Mom in a wedding?!" Lily said yes, and then I heard Emmy say, "Ewww, Mom and Dad are kissing!"
Lily said, "That's kind of the point of a wedding, Emmy." I was laughing by myself in the closet. But not for long. Before I knew it, the girls had coaxed me to put the dress on that I haven't been in for ten years (and that I'm so grateful still fits and zips!), and Lily ran to get the ghastly fake pink flowers we have in the hall (that believe it or not, actually work quite nicely in a pretty pale turquoise blown glass vase - that was a wedding gift come to think of it - atop an antique style set of dressers) and said, "Here are your flowers Mom!" Then Emmy, who has never been in or seen a wedding before in her life scooped up the little train behind me like an expert and off we went parading through the living room. I'm fairly certain I had a smile from ear to ear.
Tonight I spent a little time scouting through the memories on my own and looking at pictures. What took me by surprise was reading the messages in our guest book - a little piece of the details of a wedding that you're not sure are really that important at the time, but ten years later to see handwritten messages from important people in our lives who loved and cared about us so much made me very emotional. Some of the people are still in our lives, some were left behind soon after that summer, others relatives - always connected regardless of distance in miles or bond, and still others have since passed away. Ten years - seems like a blink of an eye, yet a lifetime ago when I think of the people we were then compared to the people we are now.
As I turned page after page of handmade paper filled with handwritten messages as different as the personalities of those in our lives at the time, I was filled with this sense of gratitude that I don't quite think I had or was capable of then for their deep love and care for us as who they knew us to be, and a good portion of them thrilled for us to share what they knew marriage to be for them. I am thankful that we have lots of good examples in our life of love, compassion and respect for one another. In this moment tonight, I wanted to sit right down and write thank you notes to all those who were present in our lives and shared the feelings that were in their hearts for us both that day, and also in the period of engagement leading up to our wedding.
It will take me awhile - no telling how long, but I resolve to do that now - 10 years into this thing called marriage, for they helped us be who we are today and in some way or another have played a part in shaping what we've made of our relationship together. So, add this to the list of starts:) In the meantime, if any of you happen to see this, know that we love you very much, and are so grateful for your presence in our lives no matter how fleeting, for there was/is a reason for each and every one of you.
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