Realizations and Gifts

Today is really more like realizations, and a few gifts to top them off like whipped cream with a cherry on top (or for my taste, more like cinnamon or dark chocolate shavings:)

#1  After a crazy hectic day in a series of many, the kind that make me not sleep at night because I'm so revved, even too riled up for meditation to calm me down, I thought I would make the most of my time by studying during Lily's Brownie meeting.  I thought to myself, Wow, I can have 1 - 1 1/2 hours of solid study time!

I brought Lily in to the meeting, sat for a few minutes, and then couldn't stand the feeling of myself being idle for more much more than that knowing all that's on my plate.  I snuck out into the front entry where there was a lone chair under an overhead can light providing just enough light (and dark) for me to cozy down and open my first study book. 

Within minutes, a Boyscout troop leader arrived and unlocked every door along the entry that I was in front of.  For the next 45 minutes, boyscouts, siblings, parents and grandparents arrived, ran, jumped, screamed, laughed, exited and entered few times more all the while growing louder and louder.  Studying became very difficult.

Then Lily's troop took a break and Lily came out for me to come back to the meeting so I could decide what size t-shirt to order for her.  Medium it is.  I walked back out and did some more reading, but felt just as chaotic in my mind as before I arrived.  I packed up and went to Lily's meeting 10 minutes early.

In those ten minutes, I witnessed all that I missed out on with my dear sweet daughter.  A precious hour and a half to learn more about her thoughts, beliefs, and hopes as she worked on a letter to herself for the two-year time capsule.  I saw the heartfelt thank you card that the other moms and the girls made for the older Brownie troop that visited at the last meeting.  I saw the troop leader and the other moms engaged with the girls.  In those ten minutes I realized that I really lost sight of what is important to me, and told Lily on the way home that I won't be studying at any more meetings.

The time is too precious, and thankfully, this lesson - in this context - only took an hour and a half to learn.  I am grateful for this, and that there is another meeting in two weeks that I will be able to be fully present at with my dear sweet Lily.

#2  Also on the sunset of this crazy day that's in the middle of like days before and surely after, the clock ticked to 8:45pm and I still had a potluck dish to prepare for tomorrow.  I started the task with squeezing lemons for 3/4 cup of lemon juice to then cook in the bulgur.  By the time I got to chopping the cucumbers, which I peeled and seeded first, I realized that the moment brought me such calm! 

The house was (and still is) quiet except for the sound of the Ray LaMontagne channel on Pandora.  My mind finally quieted, and I even figured out a better way to clean up my cukes - and excited to share that progress with Andy who has, since the start of our 16 year courtship, been trying to get me to prep efficiently and appropriately:)  And then came the colors and scents - a bowl full of cucumber, tomato, parsley, basil, feta, kalamata olives, olive oil, lemon juice.  Ahhhhh!  Such a nice way to wind down from the day, and for this experience this evening I am thankful.

Recipe for Greek Bulgur Salad with Chicken

Gifts
Andy walking up to me at this very computer just as I started to lean in and give me a kiss - and feeling my shoulders relax for the first time today as a result, as well as a genuine smile on my face at the touch and his smile mirroring mine.

A pretty praying mantis that Lily and I got to see on our way out of Brownies tonight.

Safety at work on a potentially  unsafe day.

Making it through another day.

Avoiding a car accident this morning.

A surprise package delivery from who I thought was Mom, but was really Dad (a.k.a. Bumpa) filled with handmade hair clips and headbands from my very talented cousin, creator of Little Gem and Hair Delights.

A friend's baby apple:)

Talking with my dad this morning and hearing him talk of future plans and hope.  So invigorating and exciting!